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Записи с темой: шутки (список заголовков)
01:16 

Сегодня у ученицы в учебнике для подготовки к ГИА столкнулась с... кхм... забавным текстом. Не могу не поделиться. Особенно порадовало про Россию, как лидера в индустрии видео-игр.


@темы: Advanced, Шутки

14:06 

A guy walks into a bar...

Time for some jokes. This post is mostly for advanced students but still... most of them are old and hackneyed but they are great as puzzles. Try to understand the meanings of all of them. And you still may ask me.

(Время шуток. Этот пост в основном для продвинутых студентов, но все же... большинство из них стары и избиты, но они - отличные загадки. Постарайтесь понять значения всех. И вы все еще можете спросить меня.)

 

***

A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

***

Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says Yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END-well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee." Indignantly the waitress says, "We don't serve that kinda stuff in here!" Guy says, "Funny... that's what I had in here yesterday..."

***

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."! (My favourite one. Did you get the idea?)

***

A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, "Why did you do that?" And the guy replies, " Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!"

***

A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor are sitting in a bar, across the street from a brothel. They are sipping their drinks when they see a rabbi walk in to the brothel. "Oy! It's awful to see a man of the cloth give into temptation", says the rabbi.

A short while later, they see a pastor walk into the brothel. "Damn! It's terrible to see a man of the cloth give into such temptation", says the pastor.

In a little bit, they see a priest enter the brothel.

"It's nice to see the ladies, who have been used so poorly, have time to confess their sins", says the priest.

***

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@темы: Advanced, Шутки

Дневник Julissa

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